Rectal Examinations

I've seen a handful of rectal examinations performed by various Physicians, but today's was certainly the most entertaining one. Dr. M had a patient due for a rectal examination who had a history of complications with his prostate. While asking the patient to turn around and pull down his pants, he said to me, "Irene, go ahead and show me how to do a rectal examination." Can anyone who's a newbie in the medical field keep a straight face and not turn red when they've been asked this question?

After getting my face straightened back to normal, I reached for the cabinet and retrieved some medium sized glooves and proceeded on to putting them on my nervous hands. Suddenly, Dr. M and his patient started laughing, and a huge feeling of relief rushed over me. I laughed along thinking, "Whew! And, darn, I missed the opportunity to do my first rectal examination!"

After Dr. M finished the examination, I continued with interviewing the next patient and I reported back to Dr. M. He then explained to me the "correct" way of performing a rectal examination.

He says, "First you stick your finger in and you need to be careful not to get chomped down on. Then, you take it out and you smell it! Then, Ms. Melba tastes it, RIGHT MELBA??" I turned to Ms. Melba with so much embarassment and she replies, "Yea, you have to check to make sure it's just right!"